Our actual marriage took place in the dining room, with a notary we found on the internet who made house calls serving as sole witness. But an actual wedding was never in question. My wife and I met in high-school when we were just kids (I maintain we kissed - she has no memory of this), and we had over four decades worth of friends and family from around the country we wanted to share our love and our story with. We set about the most important element - crafting a playlist for the dancefloor - immediately. Then we set about deciding on the actual ceremony. My wife was raised Catholic, I was raised Jewish (as my friend Shane is fond of saying about Catholics and Jews: “same guilt, different food”), but in terms of what we actually practice - we fall more in the “spiritual but not religious” camp. My wife and I both have deep, personal faiths, and it was important to us that our wedding ceremony be an expression of that.
Expressing the importance of community for us was also vital. Neither of us are from Huntsville, so we were asking our guests to fly in from all over the country. We wanted a ceremony that included them in some way, so they would know how honored we were that they had chosen to make the trip to bear witness for us. We also wanted it to involve Barbara’s children - as it was not just Barbara and I joining as a new partnership but the joining together of a new family. As for who to officiate, neither Barbara nor I belong to a specific congregation, so we thought it made sense to continue the theme of friends and family by asking our mutual friend Kim to hold the space for us.
All in all, I don’t think we could have asked for a more lovely and touching ceremony. It spoke to our values of community, of family, and to our personal faith. My bride was beautiful, the children were wonderful, Kim was eloquent, and we couldn’t have been happier. Most importantly, it felt like us. It was personal. It was meaningful in a way that a traditional Catholic, Jewish, or non-denominational ceremony just couldn’t have been. And it’s a memory I’ll treasure for the rest of my life.
Did I mention that Barbara and I are both licensed wedding officiants? If you’re in the Huntsville/Birmingham area to Nashville, you can find us on The Knot and WeddingWire.
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